Are You Always Late?
You are not alone. The problem of tardiness affects young and old, male and female, wealthy and poor. Oh, I know there are all kinds of excuses and each one sounds plausible at the time, but sooner or later the truth starts to set in.
People learn not to take you seriously because, frankly, they feel that you don’t take them seriously. People can see through the excuses especially if there is a repetitive pattern over time. Chronic tardiness affects not only the way others see you, but also the way in which you see yourself. It compromises your integrity.
The causes of tardiness can be understood and helped by considering a few underlying issues. One of those is rationalizing your behavior. For instance, a person who is late may blame others or minimize the impact of their lateness (Gee, I was only 15 minutes late, why are you so angry, what’s the big deal anyway?). Rationalizing prevents us from seeing the reality of the situation and therefore prevents us from making changes.
Another issue may be trying to squeeze too many activities into the time you have available. Our society places a great premium on staying busy and busy people are seen as more productive and successful. However, studies show that continuously staying busy simply creates unneeded stress. We need down time interspersed with busy periods throughout our day. Arriving a little early to a meeting and sitting with nothing to do can prepare you to focus more clearly on the meeting ahead.
Then there are those that seek stimulation and don’t get going until there is a deadline. When we are running late, our anxiety builds, the adrenaline flows, and we feel alive. Being late is only one way to achieve this stimulation. You can learn other more productive ways to enliven your experiences. A regular exercise program is one way of doing this.
Some of us just find it diffucult to accept limitations, consequences and boundaries. How we learned to manage responsibilies in childhood and the expectations from family influence the way we structure our activities in adulthood. The unstructured life, although it may feel pleasant, can carry a huge price.
An additional factor that might be associated with punctuality is distractible. For example, people with attention deficit disorder have problems with their punctuality. Also, some people play power games. If they can make others wait for them, it gives them a false sense of power and control.
Explore the causes of your tardiness and come to understand how it has become a problem. A professional therapist can help clarify the issues with you. With a positive attitude, a willingness to change, and some motivation, you should be able to have a successful outcome.
